


Don't Hold Back

by Anon_Co_op



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Biting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Gon Freecs, Bottom Killua Zoldyck, Confessions, Eventual Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Face-Fucking, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Gift Fic, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, POV Gon Freecs, Pining Gon Freecs, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Gon Freecs, Sexual Fantasy, Smut, Top Gon Freecs, Top Killua Zoldyck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:00:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_Co_op/pseuds/Anon_Co_op
Summary: Gon cussed, thinking of all the different ways to call himself an idiot.They all sounded like something Killua would say.Would Killua still call him that if Gon said he was in love with him?.Or, Gon and Killua's 'friends with benefits' arrangement takes the 'un'-expected turn for the worse(?)
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	Don't Hold Back

**Author's Note:**

> So, made this for a dear friend, hope you enjoy! they asked for fwb, gon pov, so i delivered as best as i could.  
> boys are about 20 in this, and all the tags are in order of action/scene/appearance *youre welcome*
> 
> If you want some vibe music, id suggest 'ive been waiting' by Lil Peep, iLoveMakonnen, & Fall Out Boy.

“Hey,” Gon started, sheets barely covering his hips. “Let's not kiss anymore.” He smiled at Killua, seeing pale skin and hair glowing in the shadows, but Gon couldn't see his face, nor feel his expression under his lips. “I don't want you to get the wrong impression.” The smile hurts him most. More than the lie off his lips, or the fact he only had the ability to say the words here, in this darkened room. More than the sweet scratches Killua had left on his back and more than the ghost feeling of his mouth on his.

If he kept this up, he might not be able to turn away soon. 

“Oh.” Killua's words fall heavy and blunt. Emotionless and careful. “Sure. We can do that.”

“Yeah.” Gon finally slips out of bed, feeling around for his clothes, slipping them on as he says, “Thanks again, I got really frustrated after that chem exam. I don't feel so nervous anymore, but I still think I bombed it.” He finishes with a laugh, something light and breathy and utterly forced from his lungs.

“Sure. Lock the door behind you.”

Rather than respond, he jiggles his keys, throat so tight he doubted he could speak.

~

Gon had first noticed it last semester. Thinking about Killua was something he had done for years. They’d met in middle school, competing in athletics and meeting up at libraries for - as Killua would call it - tutoring sessions. Highschool and college had warranted more freedom, Killua moving out of his parents place and Gon staying at the dorms.

They’d been hanging out almost everyday since then, so when they first started fucking, it was just another ‘activity with Killua’ in the back of Gon’s mind. They had other friends, and Gon had been on plenty of dates, but people were  _ boring _ outside of sports competitions, pool halls, and lecture rooms. Not many could keep up with Gon, even less kept his interest. 

Kilua was one of the few.    
  


When they had first agreed on the arrangement, Gon had thought it would only be for a night or two, until Killua talked some other athlete into his bed, or Gon smiled his way into more than a few broom closets or pants. 

Despite the imagined timer on  _ this _ , life had been a bit easier between the two. An easy routine. School, hanging out with other friends, the odd tumble with Killua, and visiting Mito or Alluka on the weekends. Staying late at Killua’s apartment to study would usually end with one of them bent over the coffee table, and dark rooms at parties were great for a quick blowjob or some rough handling. Beyond that, things seemed to be going well. 

As often as they fucked, they still played video games more, ate out at odd bars and diners, and generally had a good time. They still had fun. 

Being with Killua was always fun, in Gon’s mind.

Until Gon realized he was falling in a bit too deep.

Talking with Leorio one night, two pints in, Gon had checked his phone one time too many. The older man pointed it out, commenting on Gon waiting for a cock appointment.

Rolling his eyes, Gon said, “Nah, I'm waiting for Killua to say he made it to Alluka’s fine.”

“Oh? Is something going on?”

“No, just the usual; he's taking her to a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, then they go out to eat somewhere.”

“Did you want to go?”

Gon shivered, “No way, too much sugar. They usually go to a place where the air smells too sweet, and he likes having one-on-one time with her.”

“So...why would he be checking in with you?”

Gon frowned, confused.

“Did you two start dating when I didn't notice? You never cared about his whereabouts before.”

“No- I’m just-”

“Easy, Gon, relax, I'm teasing. If you're that worried, just call him. I'm sure he won't care.”

But Gon couldn't do that. He never had before, and Killua would be suspicious. And Gon didn't want Killua to worry about that while he was spending the day with Alluka. 

_ You never cared about his whereabouts before. _

The phrase bounced around in his head for days. Why  _ did _ he care? The odd times Killua had needed his help were few and far between, and Killua had always known when to ask. What did Gon need to worry about?

Then he had noticed the touching.    
  


The need to reach out and grab onto Killua’s sleeves, bump his shoulder, wrap his arm around the back of Killua’s chair. The want for physical contact, the simpler kinds - as opposed to the raw and absolutely fantastic kinds they reserved for Gon’s car and their beds - was slowly becoming a necessity all on its own. 

Killua had even brought it up, flicking his forehead when Gon had leaned in too close. “If you want to hold me, hold me when you're sucking on my dick,” he had said quietly with a laugh.   
  


Gon remembered being delighted to do so shortly after, but even after Killua had removed his sharp fingernails from Gon’s shoulder, apologizing for the scratches, Gon had to resist the urge to lean in and tuck Killua under his chin, collapsing into the bed beside him. 

Instead he resigned himself to Killua shoving him down and jerking him off, giving him rough kisses until he came, making a mess on himself and Killua. 

Scowling, Killua had said, “Jesus, Gon, did you  _ try _ to get my face,” as he wiped a drop off his chin.

“At least I had the forethought to just swallow it. You never give me head, if you did it wouldn't be as messy.”

The same as every other time Gon had brought it up, Killua’s face went slack and cold. “I'm not sucking you off,” he said, voice too serious for a freshly orgasmed Gon. But with that, he dashed off to his bathroom, coming back a minute later, clean and with a rag in his hand. “Did you still need help with chapter 18?”

But it was during their most recent fuck, Killua snapping into him from behind, turning Gon into a babbling mess, he felt the inkling, past the slapping of skin and the sex-fueled haze of his mind that Gon realized he really wanted to take Killua on a date to an amusement park.

The thought was quickly blasted out through his ears as Killua gave his prostate a particular grind that had Gon gasping into a pillow.

Once he had come back down into the bed, Killua dropping onto his back, nose buried into the back of Gon’s neck, mouth hot, the idea of a date had come back to the front of his mind, too clear and too wonderful seeming. 

What the hell was he thinking? 

As Killua placed several more heavy kisses into his back, moving down low enough that Gon half-wondered if he was hoping for a second round, he realized that maybe  _ that _ was the cause of his head thinking he wanted to date Killua.

So he had told Killua no more kissing. Even as he had said it, he wanted to take it back and swear he hadn’t meant it.

As he walked out of the apartment, keys clutched in his fist, he affirmed that kissing  _ had _ to be the cause of these thoughts. 

He could live without them. So long as he didn’t ruin his friendship with Killua, he could handle no kisses.

That didn't stop him from craving the taste of his skin. 

Thus, Gon found himself in Killua’s kitchen, down on his knees, hair clutched in tight fists, Killua thrusting his dick as far into Gon’s throat as he could, the affirmation of Gon saying “be as rough as you want” the only thing spoken in the last few minutes. 

Gon did his best to suck when he could, rubbing his tongue under Killua’s shaft if he paused too long, but mostly he caught himself looking up, trying to watch Killua’s face, feeling his heart stutter when the flush in his cheeks turned hot, bottom lip being worked between his teeth.

Gon’s own cock was sitting painfully in his jeans, but he couldn't bear to look away, couldn't divert his attention from Killua.

Killua, whose jaw was dropping, going slack in a way Gon knew well by now. He shifted his grip from Killua’s thighs up to his hip bones, working with each of his own thrusts, feeling his shaft pulse in his throat, cum hot and bitter and  _ Killua.  _ As Killua’s body and cock soften, Gon sucked just enough to get a reaction out of Killua, earning a smack on his shoulder.

Laughing, keeping him upright while struggling to right himself, Gon rasped, “I’ll never understand how you won't try that, I swear it's more fun than tv-dramas make it seem.”   
  


“What would you know, you can't watch tv,” Killua drawled, eyes barely open. He reached, cupping Gon’s tent in his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You now.”

But Gon brushed his hand away, a tightness in his chest making him blink hard. 

Standing, seeing that Killua had practically turned to putty, his bottom lip swollen from his teeth, Gon had to resist the urge to kiss him, breaking his own rule. 

“Nah, I’m good. You have that exam to study for, and I need to finish up a report before I send it in for proofreading. We should plan to go out drinking this weekend though, it'll be fun, plus a small celebration before midterm week.” Gon smiled, trying to ease the confused look off Killua’s face. 

His cheekbones were still dusted pink, making his eyes glow in the low light. 

~

Back on his own bed, he stroked himself through the images of Killua: Killua leaning over him, Killua sprawled out on the bed, Killua’s back covered in marks caused by Gon’s lips and teeth, Killua arching into his touch, remembering the ways Killua had said his name, imagining Killua here with him now, Killua touching him, whispering in his ear “ _ Fuck you look so great, so wrecked, I can’t believe youre laying there like this for me, getting so worked up over just my touch. You’re getting close? I can feel it, the way your cock pulses and quivers in my hand. Why don't you tell me something I’d like to hear, Gon? Go ahead, say it-” _

“Shit- Killua- Fuck it- I lo-” but his orgasm turned any breath he had into a low moan, the words he almost said heavy on his tongue but impossible to say.

As the cum his stomach cooled and trickled across, he cussed, thinking of all the different ways to call himself an idiot. 

They all sounded like something Killua would say.

Would Killua still call him that if Gon said he was in love with him?

~

School reports turned in, midterm exams taken, their small group decided to meet up at a nearby bowling alley, one that served tap and fried food.

Taking up two lanes, Gon and Killua played at one with Ikalgo and Retz, while Palm, Knuckle, Zushi, and Shoot played another.

Technically they were supposed to be playing against the other team. But as most everyone had come to expect, Gon and Killua had started to have their own minI competition within their group, sending the odd jeer at each other as they made strikes, spares, or, in Gons case, a gutter ball on both plays, earning a hearty laugh in the group. 

Gon couldn't exactly tell them he was distracted by the fact Killua and Ikalgo had gone up for more food. That he had seen Ikalgo wrap an arm around Killua’s shoulders, and Killua had not shoved his arm away. 

As Retz tried to coax him back into a more fun mood, teasing him about only needing to get two more strikes to beat Killua’s score, he was drawn back to Killua and Ikalgo walking back, both carrying a basket of fried appetizers in each hand. Setting the food on the table, Gon felt his gut lurch as Ikalgo grabbed Killua’s forearm and gave him a smile. 

Killua returned the smile.

“Sorry, Retz, I’m- I’m just too nervous about that report I turned in. I may head back now, take a look over it. I’m sure I can find where I went wrong with it. I'll pay for the next game, though,” everyone started to complain or encourage him to stay for one more game, except Killua, watching Gon’s face with a familiar frown. “I want you guys to have fun, I'm just stuck in my head, we’ll plan another hang out after finals.”

Now everyone was cussing him out for the reminder, calling out where he could shove his plans as Gon walked out. He was half way down the block, his dorm just a five minute walk - _ bless college towns _ \- when he heard fast feet behind him. Presuming it was a runner, he hung right, expecting them to pass, instead stumbling as his arm was grabbed and yanked. 

Killua was scowling at him, breathing a bit fast, jacket clutched in a fist.

“Killua, put your coat on, it’s freezing-”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Killua interrupted him. “This was your idea, you've been looking forward to this, to bowling with everyone, for almost two months. You're telling me,  _ me _ , that you're stressing about a report you turned in?” He laughed. “You were fine about that chem exam you thought you bombed, and that was worth more of your grade. So before you try and lie to  _ me,”  _ he emphasised by pointing at his face, “just spit out what's really eating at you.”

“ _ Killua,” _ Gon breathed, feeling the truth sit on just the tip of his tongue, “I was serious when I said I was just stuck in my head. It’ll…. I'll work it out. Don’t worry about me.”

Gon shrugged off his hand, turning back.

“Is this cause I wouldn’t fucking suck you off?” Killua called out, just a bit louder than normal. 

Gon took a glance around, not seeing anyone that could eavesdrop. “It's not, Killua. Please, just head back in, I’m sure Ika-”

_ “Don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence,” _ Killua hissed, eyes bright. 

Such a small thing, it was stupid, Gon knew it. He knew Ikalgo and Killua had been a thing, once, way back in high school. The rumors had been mild, in comparison to some other things, but Gon had always treated it as just a fact, an additional detail about Killua. 

He had never asked about it, but Killua had never brought it up either.

“Killua, it's not fair to Ikalgo to just- just not admit to your relationship. I know you guys are still close after-”

“I never got with Ikalgo. I never slept with him, I never even kissed him.”

Gon’s teeth clicked shut, feeling an embarrassed flush heat up his ears.

“I’ve- I was never with anyone- anyone before I was with you. I just- dates that didn't end well, or I'd drop them and hang out with Alluka or Zushi.”

“Wha- that doesn't make sense, Killua. You- told  _ me _ you went on dates but would just hang out with our other friends? That’s-”

“It’s gross, and stupid, I know, but- in my head, I thought- I hoped you’d think that I was- that I could-” even in the darkness, Killua’s red face was too visible. He was looking anywhere but Gon, twisting his jacket into a tight coil. “I thought that you’d get jealous, like you just were, and want to date me.”

“ _ Date you?” _ Gon couldn't believe it. What was he hearing? Killua?  _ His Killua? _ Fake dating? “But- were friends-” His traitor mouth was only saying the same thing Gon had told himself earlier that week. “We’ve been friends forever, if- if the fucking is going past a line, I can- we don’t- I don’t want you to be pressured into anything, Killua.”

He was suddenly playing back the fact that  _ Killua had been a virgin before Gon had fucked him into the mattress five months ago. _

“Jesus Christ, Palm said I just had to be upfront with you, you don't work well with subtleties. Well,  _ fuck, _ I can’t believe I’m saying this. Gon. Gon, I've been in love with you since the eighth grade.”

All thought left Gon’s mind. 

Killua what?

“Hey. Hey don't tell me you short circuited.”

Eighth grade, then, how many years?

“Gon, let's get out of here and talk. We really need to talk.”

Six years Gon had wasted? On what, quick fucks and useless hormones?

“Let’s head back to my place, okay? We need to talk.”

Gon gave a small nod, and Killua ordered an Uber. 

Twenty minutes later, Gon was sitting on Killua’s couch, head in his hands, as Killua chugged a bottle of water. 

“You didn't even drink.”

Killua sputtered, spitting into his sink. “The fuck? What did you say?”

Gon’s shoulders slouched, and he rolled his head to the side, finally meeting Killua’s eyes. “At the bowling alley, you didn't drink.”

“Nor did you, idiot, what's your point?”

“The water. I just… dunno, it's something you do, drink water, to help sober up.”

Killua scowled. “It actually thins the alcohol, and makes the buzz last longer. I'm just thirsty.” Then he bit his lip, looking away. “Look, about what I said, we can drop that, if you want. I thought talking would help, but you… if you're going to lose it each time, I'd rather we just pretend I didn't say anything.”

“And go back to being fuck buddies?”

Killua flinched. “If that works best, that's fine with me.” Killua’s face turned stony, his obvious tell, when he hadn't practiced a lie well enough in advance.

“Can we go back to kissing, too?” Killua blinked in surprise. “I only wanted to stop cause I realized something. But I was worried that it would ruin what we had.”

“I just told you I love you and you’re worried about ruining our fucking-arrangement?”

“Well, that was before you told me that. I thought you were more interested in the fucking. You certainly enjoy doing it-” Killua flushed, grabbing his water bottle again, hiding his mouth behind the label. “But I realized I wanted to take you on a date. To an amusement park. And all I could think about was screaming at the top of our lungs while we go on those idiotic speed-death-traps you like, then us going on the ferris wheel, kissing you at the top like those rom-coms-”

“Stop pretending like you watch movies, Christ-”

“And when I realized I wanted to date you, I thought  _ I _ was the one crossing a line. So I thought not kissing you would help. But you taste so good, I love it when you fuck my throat, you get so spent-”

“Fuck off, Gon,” he tried to cover his face again, but Gon crossed the room to lean in, wanting to watch Killua’s reaction. 

“Then I went back to my room and jerked off at the thought of you, seeing you, hearing you in my head,” Killua tried to shove Gon back, the scowl accenting the pink hue on his face. “I realized I probably have been in love with you for a while.”

Killua froze, face turning an alarmingly pale shade. “Don’t fuck with me, Gon, if you’re just going to make fun of me-”

“You just said that I can't lie to you. Killua knows when I'm lying, always. Look at me. Tell me I'm lying. That I'm lying about being in love with you.”

Killua didn't move for a long while. He chewed on his lip, eyes looking over his shoulder, then gripped Gon’s shirt, pulling it in tight fists. He took a quick breath, giving Gon a quick shake as he turned to face him. He scanned Gon’s eyes, his own looking surprised, then sad. 

“You're not lying. You- you really think-”

“Killua? You know I'm not one for thinking.” With that, Gon grabbed his hips, pressing him back into the counter, kissing him.

One of the things Gon loved the most about kissing Killua was how he always tasted a bit sweet. His sweet tooth had never abided as he grew older, and still constantly snacked on odd suckers and candies and chocolate. Now was no different, Gon’s tongue swiping along his teeth, sucking on his lip, before moving over to a spot under Killua’s ear, making him shift to grab onto Gon’s shoulders. 

Licking the new bruise, Gon whispered, “I love you, Killua. Sorry for taking so long.”

“Don’t fucking apologize, Christ-” He pushed Gon back, pulling him to the bedroom, shoving him onto the bed. 

As Gon bounced, struggling to sit upright, Killua straddled his hips, shucking off his shirt, then undoing the fly at Gon’s pants. 

“I take it you wanna take the lead tonight?” Gon asked mildly, not really caring. 

Killua paused, instead leveling a stare at Gon. “You want to know why I wouldn't give you head?” Gon blinked. “You.. when you told me about the first time you had sex, you said you got a blow job from some kid after your soccer match. You would talk about how much you liked it, on your other dates. So- it’s so dumb, but- I figured if I  _ didn’t _ , eventually, I’d be different than all the other people you slept with.” Killua sat down in Gon’s lap, hands tangling in his hair. “But the truth is… I really want to suck you off, and then have you fuck me until I can’t walk for the rest of the weekend. I like when you fuck me senseless-” He pulled Gon into another kiss, something soft and exploring.

Gon got so lost in the feel of Killua, his ribs under his fingers, soft sighs coming from the both of them, lips moving and shifting, sucking and nipping at the others, that until Killua sighed his name in a particular slide of teeth and tongues, Gon had completely forgotten Killua’s request. 

“Are,” he swallowed, enjoying the taste of Killua on his tongue again  _ at last _ , “you sure you wanna fuck? We can just…” he leaned in, stealing a moan from Killua as Gon shifted his hold to Killua’s ass, then resumed kissing and sucking his lips.

“I've been thinking about swallowing you down since I first knew that was a thing, Gon,” He said, pulling away to stand, stripping off his jeans. Gon took the time to slip his shirt and jeans off as well. When he started to slip his boxers down, Killua grabbed his wrists, halting him. “Let me.” He stripped his own boxers off first, before kneeling on the ground in front of Gon.

Slowly, Killua pulled the waistband down, fingernails scraping along Gon’s skin, dragging the waistband across the top of his cock, then keeping it just above his head for a second. Gon glanced up, meeting Killua’s eyes, a mischievous glint reflecting back at him. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Gon grumbled, head feeling foggy at the sight of Killua’s mouth so close to his cock. 

Rather than reply, Killua simply stripped the boxers off all the way, Gon rising just enough to help, and then he was back to breathing over Gon’s cock, one hand wrapping around it. The other hand seemed to reach in front of him, and Gon presumed Killua would be stroking himself at the same time. 

Killua’s thumb stroked the underside, gliding in a way they were both very familiar with. Gon rolled his head back, enjoying the rush from seeing Killua stroke him. 

He glanced down in time to watch Killua lick and kiss the head of his dick, his warm tongue sending a spike that had him gasping. “Fuck, I love this show, but if you don’t hurry up-”

“Don't threaten me, Freecss.” Killua pressed his thumbnail on the edge of his head, sending a roll of pleasure through Gon’s core. “I’ll take as long as I damn well please, and you’ll let me.”

“Oh, I like you threatening me-” he moaned, Killua’s mouth sucking in the tip, then sliding further along, tongue swiping side to side around his shaft. He made sure to stay up on his elbows, watching Killua slide up and down, moaning around his shaft, sucking down as far as he could. 

After a particularly hard suck that had Gon panting, knees jerking, Killua popped off. Gon glanced down, seeing Killua’s eyes shining brighter than his lips.

“Killua? Killua what's wrong-” but was interrupted as Killua threw his head back, mouth going slack. It was then that Gon noticed Killua's other hand was behind his back. “Have you been stretching yourself this  _ whole time? _ ” 

“I’m fine,” he breathed, “I'm just- I feel so good, suddenly, and you taste better than I ever dreamed-” his free hand grabbed Gon’s cock again, going down all the way, moaning around Gon, looking up at him, tears building up on his lashes.

“You have to be the prettiest, most gorgeous thing I've ever seen-” Killua bobbed back, swirling his tongue over Gon’s head, and he could feel Killua swallow around him, then dive down again.

Killua hummed, sliding off again. “Gon? Do you think I could get you hard a second time? I really...wanna taste your cum. I've been thinking about it too much lately, and I just-” he sighed, head lolling back as he probably stroked his prostate again. 

_ “You’ve got to be kidding me- _ ” he flopped on his back, wondering if he could. He’d only managed it a few times before, usually when he’d been especially wound up after a sports meet, or if- “Fuck, yeah, I think I can, you- you’ve got me so wound up-” he bit his lip as Killua licked the underside of his cock, one hand twisting at his base, tongue moving in that fantastic side to side motion.

As Killua moaned again, the vibrations made Gon’s toes curl, cock throb, and Killua started to suck  _ hard, _ thumb pressing into the side. But it was hearing Killua moan and sigh as his fingers worked himself open - that sound caused the perfect spike of pleasure, Gon rocking into Killua’s mouth, feeling him flinch then moan as he sucked and licked Gon through his orgasm, lips popping open as he huffed a hot breath, swallowing, then licking the remaining saliva off Gon’s cock. 

“Fuck, stop, wait, just-- give me a minute, come here.” Laying back in the bed, he blindly reached for Killua, feeling his hand, lacing his fingers with his. Killua layed down on top of him, his other hand wrapping around Gon and into the bedding under him, holding him tightly, face tucking into his shoulder. Gon wrapped his free arm around Killua's waist, feeling him shiver, he brought their laced fingers to his lips, kissing each of Killua’s knuckles. 

Killua whined, hips shifting a little. “If you're going to kiss me-” He propped himself up, kissing up Gon’s jaw, then back down, settling on a spot along his collarbone, working his lips over it until Gon felt the familiar pain of a hickey.

“Who said anything about leaving, what with you not walking and me turning purple cause you like suck-” Killua fidgeted his hips, cock sliding next to Gon’s. His head shot back, neck arching, hissing, “ _ Killua not yet fuck-” _

“Then I obviously need to try harder,” Killua snarked, pushing himself up to sitting on top of Gon’s dick. Some of the lube Killua had used, trailed down, curling over Gon’s head, feeling too cold against his spent cock. 

Gon groaned, “Killua, please, go easy on me, I really don't think you want me to break this early on-”

“Oh, I’m not even trying yet, now I’m just fucking with you. You seem to enjoy being tormented and what can I say? I love seeing it.”

“Damn sadist.”

“So glad I found myself a masochist.” Killua still hadn't pulled his hand from Gon’s hold. Gon peeked, seeing him gaze at their hands, fingers wrapped around each other. Killua’s thumb stroked Gon’s palm, pressing into the pulse point of his wrist. “Your heart’s beating so fast,” he murmured softly.

Gon kept his eyes on Killua, pulling their hands to his mouth again. Meeting Killua's eyes, Gon shifted to press his lips into Killua's wrist. He hummed into the spot, closing his eyes for a moment. “Yours too,” he said after a moment. “You hearts beating fast too.”

Gon tested his cock, rolling his hips up into the seam of Killua’s ass, and they both moaned in unison. “Mm, I told you-”

“You didn't tell me shit-'' Killua broke off with a yelp as Gon let go of Killua’s hand at last, grabbing his hips and flipping them. “You always have to show off with that move don't you.” 

“You like it,” he replied easily, smiling down at Killua, feeling his heart swell at the sight of him- white curls mussed, face flushed, lips the same shade of pink as his cock. Killua grappled around him, finding a condom under the pillow Gon hadn't noticed. He watched Killua tear the packet open with his teeth, rolling it over his shaft. He dragged one of Killua’s legs up enough that he could slot his thigh under it, lining his cock up and pressing into Killua. 

They both moaned as Gon slid in all the way in one easy glide. “God, Killua, how much did you work yourself, I’m- this is-”

Killua seemed to flex his abs, his walls tightening around Gon, and he tilted his head back, sighing happily. “You feel so good like this, fuck Gon-” Killua rolled his hips up, tired of waiting. 

Gon reached his hand around Killua’s hip, holding his leg as well, pulling almost all the way out, then slowly pressing in at an angle. Killua’s whole body arched as Gon’s head slid along his prostate, stammering something about Gon.

“Tell me, Killua, tell me-” He made the same action, really wanting to hear Killua babble his name again. 

“Mm, you make me feel so good, you’ve always been so fucking amazing at making  _ me _ feel amazing, even before you started fucking me, but- Christ,  _ there, again, just-  _ if I don’t just love how your cock feels in me, making me feel whole. Before today, before we finally fucking  _ talked _ , I’d trick myself, thinking you, treating me like this meant you liked me, but you just didn’t wanna say it yet. But then you fucking talked about being in  _ love _ -”

Gon struck up, fast and hard, earning a babble of moans and his name, Killua’s walls tightening sweetly, making Gon’s legs quiver and falter in his next roll. “Killua, fuck, you feel so perfect, I’m so close-”

“I said fuck me so I can’t walk, I know you can do it, please Gon-” Killua whined as Gon pulled out, stepping back. He gasped as Gon pulled him to the edge of the bed, shoving both of his legs over his shoulders. He then grabbed Killua’s hips just as he dug his nails into Gon’s shoulders, pressing back in.

_ “Fuckfuckfuck  _ yes, come on, fuck me, Gon, I love you, but just-” Gon started an uneven pace of thrusting hard and rolling up, thinking hard about the way Killua was begging him, stuttering his name and curses and stammered words of love.

“I love how you say my name, Killua, you say it like it's your favorite word, come on, tell me again, tell me-” another strike up, and Killua tightened, throwing his head back, silent as he came on his and Gon’s chest.

The pain from Killua’s scratches, him clenching around Gon, seeing his lips mouth his name, and Gon thrust twice more, earning a mewl from Killua, and he leaned into Killua’s thigh, biting and sucking, finishing with a three more uneven thrusts, earning another moan from Killua.

Spent, he started to lick and kiss the mark, murmuring that he didn't mean to, not so hard.

“Um,” Killua stammered from under his arms. “That was. The biting. That was new.” Gon eyed Killua’s face from under the arms, placing his tongue flat against the bite. Seeing Killua peak from between his arms, Gon maintained eye contact as he sucked it again, watching Killua’s flush travel down to his chest.

Gon untangled their limbs, pulling out, leaning over Killua. “Should we go take a bath?”

Scowling, Killua said, “You did what I asked, so I'm  _ not _ walking there. Think you can lift me?”   
  
“Of course.” He placed a quick kiss against Killua’s cheek, dodging the hand slap accompanied with Killua’s ‘Fuck off.’

Condom removed, bath filled, Gon managed to scoop Killua in his arms, bridal style, with Killua’s arms locked over his shoulders. “Shit, fuck, don _ ’tdropmedon’tdropmedon’tdropme-” _

“I’m not- Killua you're not gonna get dropped.” He managed to carefully lower Killua in, sitting in behind him, pulling his flush to his chest. 

“And here I thought I was getting a sponge bath.” Killua rolled down Gon’s chest, tipping his head to the side, pressing his cheek into Gon’s pec. “This is new, too.”

“What is?” Gon had been distracted at the idea of cleaning Killua with his hands and tongue, perhaps an idea for later.

“This, the- the cuddling, after sex. You weren't like this before.” 

Gon tightened his hold around Killuas waist, hearing him murmur at the contact. “I never thought of it. Before we started sleeping together, you hated being touched. I could barely hug you without you shoving me away. I thought it was how you preferred it.”

Killua snorted. “Yeah, I thought the same. But it was just a way for me to be mad at you, thinking about you holding other people, and you not getting to hold me.”

Gon frowned, then started to giggle. “Wow, you're  _ really _ petty, Killua.”

He choked when Killua dug an elbow into his side. “Bet your ass I was petty. You went on dates every- Fuck, it doesn’t matter.” Killua crossed his arms, slinking down further into the water. 

“ _ Killua,” _ Gon whined, dragging out each syllable. “Don’t be mad, come on. Now you get to do whatever you want to me. Scouts honor.” He didn't budge. “You get to hug me whenever you want, kiss me as long as you like, wherever you like.”

“Idiot.” Killua rolled in the water, bouncing enough that he straddled Gon’s hips. “First you have to take me on that date.”

Gon blinked, then smiled widely. “I can take you to the amusement park?” He nodded. “And you'll sit next to me on all the rollercoasters and other insane death traps?” Another nod. “And you kiss me at the top of the ferris wheel?”

Killua leaned in close, hands coming up around Gon’s face, holding his jaw in his palms. His nose brushed Gon’s cheek, breath ghosting over Gon’s lips. “Yes.” Gon’s eyes slid shut, tilting into Killua’s lips, feeling the familiar drag of his mouth and tongue, slow and exploring and sweeter than Gon had ever dreamed. 

**Author's Note:**

> I... may do a Kil pov when i feel the need for some more angst... 
> 
> Big ol' thanks to my betas', i love yall


End file.
